Thursday, March 13, 2014

Warning: camouflage shorts could make you disappear

Children are a great antidote to the drudgery of life

It's ironic. This blog has a mission: to lift readers up. I want my posts to elevate the mundane, to point out the often overlooked joys of life that slip by because of our hurried, stressful and scattered lives.

But, lately, my posts have had a sad, heavy tone to them. I apologize for that. This never ending winter and my insanely large business goals have been weighing me down.

Today, I'm snapping out of it.

It's time to lighten things up, and because children are the best antidote to the drudgery of life, I decided to call on them for help. (This also allows me to spare you from my own attempt at humor, which usually leaves only one person doubled over in laughter: me).

I've been collecting my children's words over the last 8 years. I keep their craziest, funniest, most touching comments in a notebook on my bookshelf. (Yes. I still have a bookshelf, and even some real, old fashioned books on it). Here's what they have to say about the world:

  • With a look of great determination, and a face full of crumbs, my daughter stated last Christmas: "I ate the gingerbread man's feet first, just in case he tried to run away."
  • My son likes to boss my daughter, and the rest of us, around. In a speech about marriage he plainly told his sister, "You have to get married when you grow up. If you don't, you don't get to eat any cake."
  • Kids marvel at science. My daughter recently showed a a unique way of understanding fetal development. She asked me, "When I was growing inside you I ate all the crumbs in you tummy, right Mommy?"
  • My daughter's strengths are many, but listening and following directions is not one of them. After I told her this she said, "Mom, will you open the door on my forehead and put the listening card in my brain?"
  • Regarding the lovely varicose veins on my legs, my daughter shrieked in horror the first day I dared to wear shorts last summer. "Mommy! You have cracks in your legs!"
  • On the eve of my 10th wedding anniversary my son began to dream about the best thing that might happen to him if he were celebrating a special day. He leaned in, nuzzled my neck and said, "I think Daddy's going to take you to the subway station to eat Cheez-Its."
  • My son tends to worry. One bright spring day he stood motionless, studying the outdoors and watching his friends play outside. He looked at me, concerned. "I don't think I should play outside with my camouflage shorts on. What if you can't find me?"

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