Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Is there goodness in loss?

I was going to write about my favorite books this week.

Then my son gave me this:

This note pulls and tugs and aches.  It hurts everywhere.  Why?  Children mirror what their parents think and feel, telling me my focus over the last few years has too often been on my loss rather than my gains.

In 2009, I lost an income, a house, health insurance, independence, my sense of pride, a way of life.  It was difficult, and it was crappy, and I screamed, wept, worried, and lost sleep all the way through it.

A year and a half later, in 2010, I gained access to a home with nothing but love.  The doors were opened wide to accommodate me and my family of four.  Rooms were re-arranged and re-purposed.  Closets and drawers were cleared out. A garage was opened up.  Cable was upgraded.  Diego sheets were purchased.

My children gained daily hugs and kisses from their Nana.  They came to enjoy crazy laughs with Grandpa each evening at the dinner table.  They became privy to frequent visits from their great Aunt.  They forged close friendships with their cousins.  They got better access to the many family members who visit Nana and Grandpa's home each year.

Yes.  My children are without a physical home their parents can call their own.  It saddens me.

But I'm certain they will long treasure their experience at Nana's and Grandpa's.  In fact, my daughter Bronwyn tells me she plans to live with me when she grows up.  Maybe I'll be so lucky.

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